ISABEL BERGE

Hello, my name is Isabel Berge and I have a confession to make. I am an introvert, and yes this means exactly what you think.

 

As an introvert I hate people. I’m incredibly antisocial so even just the thought of human interaction makes me want to take the old ostrich approach. You know, stick my head in the ground and hope the prey animals won’t see me, except in my case the prey animals are actually extroverts. I hate talking, it doesn’t matter to whom, how many people or what subject, I just avoid conversation at all cost. As all introverts, I’m also pretty lonely and depressed, but I have hope that one day I will be able to finally become the extrovert I’ve always been on the inside that’s just waiting to shine through.

 

Okay, maybe not. It seems like what I just described is the image a lot of people have of us introverts, but in real life none of this is even remotely true. Okay, maybe a little bit, but at least not to that extent! Introvert simply means a person who is energized by spending time alone.

 

The most common misconception about introverts that I briefly addressed is that we’re antisocial and prefer to spend all our time to ourselves. Even though it’s true that we spend more time on our own than our more extroverted counterparts, it is not true that we hate interacting with others. Just like everyone else we love spending time with close friends and family members, and cherish this time greatly. Most of us are not the very chit-chatty type so chances are you will be the one doing most of the talking, but we really do enjoy talking to you, well, or you talking to us at least.

 

When it comes to conversations, I’ve often been accused of having nothing to say, or people might think that because we don’t typically feel the need to respond to every other word spoken or share our own similar experiences we are either very uninterested or even bored with the conversation. This is not the case. We tend to internalize more than we talk. We’re good listeners. Introverts also tend to overthink, so when we have finally figured out the perfect response, chances are you’ve already left that topic. This still doesn’t mean we never talk though. If we get into something we’re passionate about, there is a good chance you’ll be the quieter one for a while while we pour out our hearts with everything we know about this subject. Introverts tend to avoid superficial small talk, which is also a reason many of us tend to avoid parties.

 

At parties we’re expected to constantly interact with others, often strangers, and lets be honest, there really isn’t a way to have a deep meaningful conversations while being practically pushed around in overcrowded rooms where most of the people are there only to have a good time and are actually seeking that small talk we’re trying to avoid. If you’re an extrovert that has managed to drag an introvert to a party, first of all I want to say congratulations, that’s not a simple task, but I feel like I should also warn you that if you’re the only person there that we know, most of our time will be spent following you like a lost puppy,  but don’t worry. If you introduce us to a small group of your other cool friends we will only hate you for the first five minutes until we’ve warmed up a bit, and you might even have the permission to leave without me, and there is even a chance I might actually end up having a good time!

 

On a more serious note, one thing I’ve noticed through 17 years as an introvert is that being an introvert is often linked with depression, which is a huge misconception! The question “Are you okay?” is in our FAQ, and yes, most likely we are okay. We’re not alone because we’re depressed. Most of us are not lonely. Unlike extroverts who would get depressed by spending all their time alone, we would get depressed if we didn’t get any time alone. We’re by ourselves not because we have to but because we choose to. We like spending time with ourselves, but also know that just because we like spending time in solitude, doesn’t mean we can’t get lonely. We like being alone, but not lonely.

 

So now that I’ve told you some truths about what it’s actually like being an introvert, you may wonder; “what is the cure? How can I help this person become more extroverted?” The answer is that there is no cure. A cure would indicate that there was something wrong in the first place, which there is not. Introversion is a character trait, not a character flaw. It’s not something we need to work on or that needs to be fixed. It’s simply who we are. It’s not something that can get better over time, because there was nothing that was bad to begin with. I’m an introvert and I love spending time with my little friend group and close family. I’m an introvert and tonight will most likely be spent in my room watching Supernatural on Netflix. I’m an introvert and tomorrow night I have a leading role in a play. I’m an introvert who loves quiet friday nights at home, watching movies, reading books, going for walks and spending time with nobody but myself. I’m also an introvert who loves performing, making new friends, interacting with people, sharing my opinions, because yes, I do have them, and being with the people I love. I’m an introvert and there is nothing wrong with that. Thank you.